literature

Lost Hope Prologue

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Prologue
Where do spirits go? What do they do? Do they disappear or do they just go to a new world? Well, they go someplace were they are useful, their transparent bodies filled with the memories of others who remembered them. Those new to the land are strong and bold, those rotting with age are frail and scared. The more live spirits remember you the longer you will live.
But even if with that you can never be certain of your fate. You're life is changing every day as these lands change with every new corrupted soul. It needs a leader, a leader to hold onto the reigns and to not let go even if it gets engulfed in shadows.
One such leader has come, her name is Silver, the young dragon who died of battle. Her heart now corrupted by the fact that she can save this land, even if she needs to cause disorder in it. The Shadow Shifters have not yet been able to go up into the Dream Land, their snaking bodies still alive enough to be grounded.
But there had been a simpler time before this, one were there had been a true heroin. The wingless dragons had once been a large part of the world, then slowly died off as the gene became rarer and rarer among dragons. However, a small glimmer of hope had rested with one of the only wingless dragons young enough to learn it. This ability, the ability to control 'raw energy' was given to a vixen named Paint.
She had fought many battles, inwardly and outwardly. Her courage brought light back to the dragon's faces, it was only that her recent defeat at the top of the Shadowed Mountain that had stolen that light. She had been mercilessly torn at by Shade, her enemy and one of the leaders of the Shadow Shifters.
After the defeat the world fell into chaos, Shadow Shifters took hold of animals' spirits and invaded them turning the animals into mass murder devices. The Shifters soon got a hold of Dragons, Shade's army was growing at an alarming rate. However, Paint was luckily revived from her defeat and proceeded to get rid of Shade once and for all.
Though during her sleep her three children had grown up, two with wings, one without. That one was Chill, a strange dragon with breathing issues, blue blood, and the ability to freeze things. Little did he know that that ability was more special then he thought. He had traveled from his comfy home to the outdoors facing many perils.
On the way he had met an energetic dragon, she was Mia. The mastering of magic was a great feat as she used it too look into the future for Chill. Seeing great things for him, and tragedy for both. Together they went on until her chilling death on the mountains. From there on it was Chill who had to face the feats alone.
He found his objective though, his mother. And yet, after all he had done, his mother treated him like dirt. Instead of being happy for him being alive she scolded the son she had never wanted; the one without wings. Paint had gone on to face her last opponent.
Chill came too, very sneakily though and watched as his mother was bout to be attacked by a larger, more buff dragon. He rushed in to help, biting the large dragon but only getting hit on the head by the floor after wards. His limp body was now ready to be killed off. It was then Paint, now under her father's control, that she simply put an end to Chill's life.
Chill's body was then thrown in a river that carried him down to a lake. Two years had gone on since then. Silver had gone into a sleepless phase only making her weaker as the two dragons who knew her were starting to forget about her. But then.
Silver jolted up from a loud beeping coming from the table she was resting on. Cursing she rubbed her eyes with a paw and looked at it. She groaned seeing that almost all of the Energy Points had been taken over already. Her paws moved over the smooth table, feeling the bumps of the terrain. Her ears pricked as she heard someone land behind her.
Spinning around Silver looked at the dark blue and blue dragons coming her way. “Hello Silver, hows it going?” the dark blue one asked, his red eyes scanning the table as he came closer. Silver sighed not wanting to answer that.
“Bad... the last spark just burned out. Paint is lost.” She knew that with saying those words she would have crushed Night's heart. She didn't really care for his love towards Paint as she had never been able to truly love Kema. And then that foolish traitor had gone and forgotten about her just to go off with some stupid dragon named Autumn!
Silver cringed as she could feel the darkness in her taking over more and more. Ignoring the feeling she looked at Night waiting from something back from him but was interrupted by Mia. “Where's Chill!?” Mia had gasped shoving Night aside and desperately looking at the table.
“Maybe if you stopped barging into things you'd have a better time!” Silver snarled quite viciously. Her temper getting the better of her. Silver moved to the table and looked at it, unable to spot anything like Chill on it. “He probably died.” she said in the most uncaring voice ever uttered.
Mia backed off “N-no... it's can't be... my vision... I'd die but he would live on!” she yelled in total denial. Silver flicked her tail frustrated as Night continued on looking at the table. His red eyes narrowed, wings moving outwards then back inwards towards his body.
All of the sudden a tremendously loud beeping filled the air. It beeped in a high pitched shrill. Silver roared trying to get the noise away with brute force but failing. She finally saw what was causing the beeping and turning the noise off. Her eyes grew wide as she had not expected this. “M-Mia... Chill is... Chill is still alive.”
Both Night and Mia shoved Silver away from the table making her spin and land on her face. Growling Silver didn't dare move knowing she'd just get shoved back onto the floor. Night and Mia were squealing like a batch of piglets, all wanting milk. Silver finally got up and looked at the white glowing dot that symbolized Chill, the dragon who had been sleeping for nearly 2 years.
BOUT TIME I POSTED THIS... well here you go! *slaps in your face* READ IT ALREADY :stare:

Story, Characters (c) me
© 2014 - 2024 BlackDragonArtist
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randomcatsrfuntolove's avatar

I read chapter one for you!! The story has pretty good conventions. I did however catch a few quick little errors with the word "then" when you meant "than" like in  "... it was smaller then Chill." also "Using his back legs more then his front...." and "....Claw marks, etching into turning the bark darker then the rest..." Then there was a small mistake of "The grass, stale and old, having the same affect on his mind."  You'd have to replace "affect" with "effect"

 

Long sentences were just a bit confusing at points. Variety in sentences can be rather helpful and easier to understand. Although, that is obviously your writing style so really isn't anything to think about. This is your story so you don't have to take my advice. Keep it how you like it if you want. Overall, the story is going great so far.